Some days are better than others, and this is a day that didn’t meet the “better” mark. One of my at-home projects is to remake one of the bedrooms into a room that is exclusively for homeschool. Right now the room is entirely storage, so it’s a process—to put it lightly.
My little Rosebud (nickname, for those of you who don’t know) has been very patient with the temporary hiatus of schooling while her homeschool hours are spent preparing for the “grand re-opening,” so to speak, of Rosebud Academy.
The problem? Mommy is seriously burnt out. I want the homeschool room done… as in yesterday. I want to have my blog done (by the time this post shows up, obviously that particular milestone will have been at least partially met). I want to be caught up with submissions and the file sharing with my authors. I want to get my writing projects all done. I want. I want. I want–but I’m too tired and burned out to make anything a reality right now.
On days like this, it’s time to step back and reassess my wants. It’s always when I comes before want that burnout happens for me. I’m an introverted caregiver with the desire to be extroverted enough to make it easier for people to come to me when they’re in need of care. That can get complicated sometimes, but when I refocus on what others want, my wants take care of themselves.
Rosebud wants to homeschool. My authors want their submissions to be caught up. I want to be able to tell them that I’m all caught up and how it’s possible to balance and juggle a million things at once, so I’m an example of hope. See where the stress and wordiness cropped back in there, after I went to I want?
The truth is that Rosebud doesn’t need a room set aside in order to be homeschooled–she’s just as happy doing things at the kitchen table, or tucked into a corner of my office; as long as she’s getting attention and getting to “play homeschool,” she’s as happy as a peach in summer. She wants the verb; I want the noun.
Right now, I get up at 4 a.m. and work until 12 p.m., take a break, then get back to work until it’s near time to go to bed. Soon, that will change again to work from 4 a.m. to 8 a.m., then homeschool from 8 a.m. to 12 p.m., a break, and then more work from 1 p.m. to 5 p.m. Ending, ideally, with some evening time with the family outside, followed by bed time for the little one and a couple more hours for mommy to get the administrative tasks done for my businesses. That’s an ideal day for me—a sustainable schedule for at least the next year until we shift to eight hours a day of school.
Then, it will be time to readjust again.
In Kansas, children aren’t required to enroll in school until they are seven, though most enroll them as soon as possible—meaning, if the child turns five by August 31st of that school year, the little kiddo is shipped off ASAP. (Hehe… Yes, I meant that to be slightly teasing in tone, but not cruelly so.) That means Rosebud wouldn’t be able to go to school until August of 2017. Considering the fact that she’s been doing the Kindergarten curriculum for the last several months and making it look easy, you may see now why I’ve chosen to homeschool. She’s ready now, but they won’t be ready for her to be where she is now for another year and a half! Right now, she has this incredibly strong desire to learn, and doing “schoolwork” (even worksheets) feel like “play” to her. Why hold her back, just because she isn’t following the book on development?
For Kindergarten (so again, remember, this isn’t even our reality of requirements for over a year), full-time is not required. So, on days like these, too, I keep reminding myself how far ahead of the game we are. We don’t need to rush the homeschool room. We don’t need to rush into a set schedule quite yet—no matter how badly little Rosebud wants to homeschool today, now, all day long… I have over a year to get my businesses balanced out, fully established, and running with less of the startup crazy and stress before I even have to balance homeschool in with them.
Some days are indeed better than others, but as long as I can go full circle back to calm and collected, things aren’t too bad. I can’t change yesterday, and I can’t control tomorrow; all I can do is focus on making the best of today. My reason for being a mompreneur is to provide an income for our family and still be able to be home with that family; my goal is to balance my schedule so I’m able to spend time with my family, not just work in the same house they’re living in. I’ll get there. It just won’t happen today.
What about you? What is the reason you do what you do, and where are you in your life goal?